It’s very frustrating to have insomnia when your husband falls asleep in literally, 30 seconds. Also, it only takes 1 minute for him to become a sleep-talking crazy person.

Last night, in bed, Jack asleep for 1 minute –

Me: Baby, turn over you’re snoring.

Jack: I’m not snoring, not one drop!

Me: Yes, you are. I’ve been listening to you. Since when is snoring measured in drops?

Jack: I’m going to grab you (puts nose to my nose abruptly) until you accept my terms of service!!!!

Me: (pulling away) AGggh! Get away. What does that mean anyway?

Jack: You ask an asleep guy for answers? You get an electrified shark.

Me: This makes no sense.

Jack: Snore…