1 Month of Engrish Massage

Don’t worry. No “Happy Endings” jokes here. And no, I’m not making fun of Asians. If I had to promote a business in any other language, I would no doubt make some hysterical mistakes.

It’s just that I’ve had a pulled psoas muscle for the last month and so I’ve needed extra massage. And also, I’ve been incredibly lucky to have been able to travel to Asia for the first time in my life and take advantage of the good, reasonably priced massages.

But there’s still comedy to be had.

First up:


Okay. I know that “Kung Fu” translates roughly to “Excellence”. However I’ve watched enough C-grade Kung Fu movies to know that it doesn’t always amount to that. And also, when you’re out of your time zone in Taipei after a long flight, there’s no denying that this is funny.


Now, usually, in the U.S., I wouldn’t go into an establishment that was unknown to me called “Magic Finger” at 9 p.m. by myself and expect anything but the worst of horrors. But that’s the U.S. This was Bali. And nothing unsavory ever occurred. In fact, I had an incredible non-sexual massage in a clean and pleasant atmosphere for an absurdly cheap price. But it’s still funny.

And I never even understood what the “Sliming” massage was until I got home. The whole time I was thinking “Ek, aaaahhh? Durian or soursop fruit rub on my bare naked parts?”

Magic Finger
Ahhh. “Slimming”. Now it makes sense.

But this doesn’t.


Not that this has anything to do with massage, but it was across the street from “Magic Finger”. It wouldn’t even be that funny, except that it’s billed as “Art Communication”, and I have no idea what the hell it’s supposed to communicate.

Now something closer to home. In fact, 3 blocks from my home. For a massage, you can’t beat it. It’s outrageously cheap and it’s clean in there and it’s surprisingly good. The Chinese get my needs when it comes to really deep pressure points. (Again, in a non-sexual way.)

Relax Feet Cropped

Oh, choice E. If only I knew there was a “Beer Drinker and Hell Raisers” solution that could be solved by only a stick and a cup! I would have drunken and smoked so, so, so, so much more.

And choice H! If only my husband and I were aware that while we were working, we were just “sitting around all day”.

Cheers to you Engrish Massage.

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to 1 Month of Engrish Massage

  1. LALA says:

    So good!

  2. Cynthia Greenberg says:

    Love it! I want that beer drinkers and hell raisers massage. I tried to get a massage at magic finger when I was in Ubud but they were all booked up

Leave a Reply to Auntie G Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s