I had a hearing at City Hall today that finally came up concerning the 2009-2010 assessment for property taxes on the house we already sold.
I waited for three hours listening to other appealers, and one by one, each one raised his or her hand and swore to “tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God.”
“I do agree,” I said when it finally came for my turn, ” but I won’t swear to an entity I don’t believe exists, so no God.”
The City Hall panelists looked at each other, and I tried to read their faces.
“What happens now?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” one of them finally said. “This has never happened before.”
“In San Francisco?” I said, incredulously.
“In San Francisco,” he said.
“Well, then I think you’ve had a lot of homeowners perjure themselves. And I don’t think we need to waste anymore time except that before we begin I’d like it to be on the record that it’s a flagrant example of non-separation of Church and State.”
The panelists just looked at each other.
“I’d like to begin now,” I said.
The men shrugged.
After paying a babysitter $100 bucks, sitting around in a chamber for 3 hours, and submitting a pile of paperwork, I proved to the panel that our house was indeed worth less than they said it was. They shaved 50k off the assessed value which sounds like a lot until you realize that I went through all of that for what amounts to about a $700 refund. Still, it’s money. Godless, secular money.
I kept asking myself on the MUNI ride home, “What does God have to do with it anyway? It’s TAXES AND REAL ESTATE. If God is involved, he’s even jerkier than the Old Testament guy, seeing how things have been going lately for everyone.”
Really, NEVER in San Francisco?