Sergey is walking down the street with Google Glass. He keeps bumping into people. A dude punches him in the stomach as Sergey accidentally bumps into him while paying attention to the weather in Kuala Lumpur with his eyes.
His right eyebrow is animated. It’s female in character. It takes over the screen in the left eye.
Eyebrow: “Hey bro.”
Sergey: “Oh, uh… do I need to do an update on my glasses…? Because I’m trying to find a wine bar.”
Eyebrow: “In Palo Alto? You need help with that?”
Sergey bashes into a street pole. There is blood.
Sergey: “No, I ugh..”
Sergey steps off the curb and a car honks at him, and dogs bark at his face.
Eyebrow: “Because listen dude, you’re fucking with my hardware. Your bumping your, hahahah, “manly” face into everything on the street brohamus. I’m getting smacked left, right and center.”
Sergey: “This is a problem?”
Eyebrow: “Um. Yeah. Look, I have a vagina. I know I’m an eyebrow, but I have a vagina.”
Eyebrow: “And I like smart phones. You know why? I can put them away. Yes, in my PURSE. That way, I can interact with people and think about other things, aka “REAL LIFE”. Also, I don’t look like an partial version of Levar Burton in ST, Next Gen. Listen, sometimes bros deserve to be, how do you say, “emasculated”? Actually, you wanna consider “emasculated”? How about when your next girlfriend leaves you at restaurant because she’s trying to actually converse with you, but you’re looking up and to the right? Not sexy. Getting left abruptly by a woman might also be emasculating. But somehow you think having a smart phone is now pussy business, I guess.”
Sergey “I never said that.”
Eyebrow: “It was HUGELY implied on your Ted Talk.”
Sergey steps into a manhole and is groaning with anguish.
Eyebrow: “So here’s the deal. I’m aborting your fucking face. Jumping ship. Going where female eyebrows are safe from pedestrians and street lamps and face updates. You’re on you’re own bro.”
Eyebrow jumps onto a labrador retriever and smiles in the Palo Alto sun.